Looking Back on a Year of JET

It’s been exactly 20 days since the anniversary of my first arriving at my apartment in Akashi to begin the JET Program. In that time– you know, I spent a long time sitting and staring at the screen, wondering what highlights to put to make it sound like I’ve had the experience of a lifetime in Japan. You know, “in that time, I’ve loved and lost, danced the night away in the neon streets of Dotonburi, watched the sun set over the hills of the origin of the world, and made relationships with people whom I’ll remember for the rest of my life.” Even then, I had to try really hard to make it sound like I really made the most of my time here. I didn’t. I also didn’t love and lose either,  just wanted to sound poetic. But I still enjoyed this year more than any other out of my entire life. Instead of another wall of text let’s make a list of more things I’ve learned about myself, and about Japan, in my 365+ days here:

  1. Nobody uses soap. Ever since I first noticed a teacher not wash his hands with soap after using the bathroom (rather just running water over their fingers for a few seconds), I can’t stop noticing it among everybody– in train stations, bars, homes, everywhere. It’s the exception rather than the norm to see someone actually use soap when washing their hands. Some bathrooms, like at temples or older train stations, don’t even have hand soap at all. Why not have a bottle there, it’ll last years anyways.
  2. Japan can still be pretty dirty. For example, our school, over three decades old, has probably never been deep-cleaned aside from the daily dry-broom-pushing from the students. The toilets, including the teachers’, are also cleaned by the students, but that is done probably once a month or less. And since students clean them, well, how thorough and diligent would you be about school toilet cleaning if you were 14 years old? A lot of places are like this, with the idea that they are “ritually” clean (outside shoes have never made it in) rather than literally clean. Some districts, especially the nightlife ones, are absolutely filthy come morning time, with trash strewn all over the street. Nevertheless, outside of these old buildings or happening places, are still just as the stereotype of Japan is. Kirei!
  3. I still can’t speak Japanese. Immersion helps a lot, but I have been too lazy all the time. I was hoping to make JLPT N3 by this last July, but, well, I have no excuse other than that I’m worthless. I can mostly order at restaurants, but I’m hopeless in any kind of conversation.
  4. I have barely traveled at all. All the blog posts in the Travel category is actually all the travel I’ve done, with the exception of Kyoto. I have no good reasons for why I haven’t done it. Various things have kept me lashed to the Hyogo area, and although I know I won’t be here forever, I got settled in and comfortable pretty quickly. That shall change this year.
  5. Students are still incredibly well-behaved. The “worst” in-class behavior I ever witnessed was a group of boys who would purposely be out of sync/louder than everyone else when the class was repeating after me from the textbook. That’s it.

    IMG_6022
    Elementary school visit with ESS (English Speaking Society) Club.
  6. I still feel the same about teaching. Before JET I had only the barest minimum of experience– just a few weeks here and there of volunteering. But when I did do it, I always enjoyed it, and I’m lucky enough that being in a teaching position has never made me nervous. A year later, I have a better grasp of what activities to do in class that work with the kids, and of what doesn’t, but my core approach still hasn’t changed: be confident, make the kids like you, and try your best to make English fun.
  7. I still feel the same about Japan. Studying at Osaka University in the summer of 2014, being in Japan for the first time ever, was one of the highlights of my college career and indeed life. As I said in my personal statement for JET, hokey as it is, “I was awed by people’s friendliness, by the culture of mutual respect, and a rich history that spans thousands of years.” I still see evidence of it every single day.
  8. Without language, you’ll never know people’s true feelings. Of course, people hide their true feelings all the time, in all cultures. There are people who put on a public face and hide what they are really thinking and feeling, to the detriment of themselves and of forming potential intimate relationships. In Japan, it is widespread and prescribed as the correct course of action, as the two concepts are very clearly defined, named as honne (what you are really thinking) and tatemae (what you present to society, in order to preserve its harmony).
    Social interactions are all about “getting the hint.” For example, there is a teacher who I know for a fact dislikes me. Though they teach classes with me, they avoid speaking with me as much as possible, so I do my part to also avoid putting them in such a situation– for example, volunteering to go unlock the classroom first and wait for them there, so we don’t have to walk together. Before this, there had been a lot of subtle signs that I wasn’t able to pick up until a few months in, to be able to unequivocally conclude that they are not a fan of me.
  9. Even with language, you probably might never know people’s true feelings. After all, the concept of honne and tatemae reaches beyond merely a language barrier. It is a way of life and a way of keeping society running, in a collectivist nation where 98% of the people are Japanese. Even with Japanese friends who speak very good English, it’s really difficult to ever get them to admit anything negative.
  10. Many friendships are fleeting. I’m not just talking about with Japanese people. Being in a big, unfamiliar place, people tend to stick together with people like them, in order to feel safe, secure, and socially supported. You see this when first moving into the college dorms, or during study abroad programs. People are brought together by the context and excitement of where they are, which is why I feel you’ll often find yourself hanging out with people in Japan, Italy, Peru, or wherever that back home, you usually don’t hang out with or even get along with. I am fully aware that many people I meet here, I will probably never see again upon leaving this country. Nevertheless, I am always searching for genuine, deep emotional connections, but having a fun night out with strangers and acquaintances is always fun too.
  11. Foreigners are still foreigners. Being from America, many of my students, and people at large, may still think of me as a Westerner. Japanese people have occasionally still expressed surprise that I am so deft at using chopsticks, or that I am capable of sitting seiza, on top of your legs tucked under you. They don’t seem to realize that Asian cultures still share a lot of similarities.
  12. I’m glad I came here with more experience. Most JETs come straight out of college, and with that, I feel that among some there is a sense of entitlement and the idea that “the world should conform to ME!” It is a common complaint that we have to work during the summer, even when there is no class. We still get paid, yet people either want to get paid for not working, or pass up on free money by getting summer vacation like the students. Coming from a hustle-and-bustle, fast-paced industry as Hollywood, I’m incredibly thankful for how lenient this job can be. Yet, for many it’s still not enough. Complaints abound of working too much, working too little, or even about being so strictly expected to arrive on time.
  13. Coming here at all, and then recontracting, are two decisions I have zero regrets about. Though I still vaguely worry about what to do after this program, I am happier than I’ve ever been before. I don’t dread waking up in the morning– perhaps for the commute, yes, but for the actual job, not at all. I’m wholly satisfied with the work-life balance, of the workload, and the amount of interaction I get to have with the students. I only wish I could travel more, but that could be fixed at any time. I certainly have the freedom to.

The Higashi-Harima Culture Festival

Oh, how time flies! I can hardly imagine a more idyllic lifestyle than that of a high schooler in the Japanese countryside. For better or for worse, your school becomes your life– from so-called “club activities” that practice till sundown, through vacations and holidays but never rain; sports days of mass competition; school festivals complete with food booths and massive banners nearly 20 feet tall; to finally, random days where students don’t have classes at all and can just have fun, be it a school-wide dodgeball tournament or spending some time playing an ancient poetry card-matching game.

IMG_4035

This last Thursday, June 6th, was Higashi-Harima’s bunkasai, or culture festival. It’s the equivalent of an American school fair, but with a little more school spirit and performances instead of rides. It’s important to preface that each grade, from first years to third, are divided into “homerooms” of about 30 students each, and from the very beginning of their school life they are encouraged to stick together and be the best 1-1, 2-6, etc. they can be. Within the first week of being a freshman at Higashi Harima, you are thrust into a school spirit battle with your fellow homeroom classmates, where new students spend a whole day learning how to sing the school’s alma mater, how to march in unison, and discovering how many times your entire class can skip a massive jump rope.

IMG-4480

On this same day, classes also chose which modern Japanese era (a brief explanation of eras can be found in my blog post here) they wanted to represent, anywhere from the Meiji period of the 1860s to the current Reiwa period. Based on this, classes created massive mosaics to be displayed in front of the school, probably measuring 20 feet tall and made up of many individual little paper squares. Classes also made their own flags for display in the gym during the other festivities, of which they could pick any theme they want, which is the picture at the top of this post.

IMG_E5340
Not sure which Japanese era dinosaurs are from.

As for the performances, they of course took place in the gym, with appearances from broadcasting club, who emcees every school event, to drama and band, to my very own English club! English Speaking Society (ESS) is an extra responsibility nearly everyone on the JET Program takes on, and naturally they must perform at every year’s bunkasai. What exactly they do is up to the ALT in charge. Last year, my predecessor and they put on a production of The Little Prince, and this year I decided with my rudimentary editing skills to do a live dubbing of famous anime scenes. I removed all sound, added new music, sound effects, and Foley, while the students read their prepared translations as the characters on screen. So, imagine your favorite anime, translated by real Japanese people, read by real Japanese people, but in English, and devoid of any emotion whatsoever. That is to say, even if kids who joined English club are presumably interested in English, it’s still not enough to get them to say a line like “Ow, that hurt” with any kind of verisimilitude or effort whatsoever.

linecamera-shareimage
Also co-starring me as Blueno, a villain from One Piece.

By the way, another worthy thing to mention, the quintessential Japanese experience of being miserable in the summer. Like the rest of the school, the gym has no A/C. The only way to cool it at all is to just open the windows. Performances have to take place with the lights down so you can see the stage lighting, so all the doors and windows must be shut up. It couldn’t have been more than 80 F (26.6 C) that day at the hottest, but with humidity also in the 80s, it felt like a broken sauna. The this-sucks-so-much-it’s-funny part was waiting for them to fix technical issues with showing the ending video, so we got to bake in a dark, humid gymnasium for 20 minutes just watching the staff unplug cables and slowly troubleshoot their Windows 7 laptops at the front of the gym. Despite this, students I have asked overwhelmingly prefer summer over winter.

IMG-5499.JPG

Students also set up booths selling standard festival food fare, from A to churro and yakisoba. It was a fun day, and you can tell that, at least for that day, everyone was loving their lives. Myself included!

Golden Week & Tokyo Disney, Land and Sea

The Land of the Rising Sun, the other dragon in the East, is sleepily stirring from a 10-day vacation, the likes of which are seldom seen. This was Golden Week, and this year’s saw the abdication of Emperor Emeritus Akihito, to be replaced by his son, Crown Prince/Emperor Naruhito!

IMG_4576
As seen on TV. On the right, the Imperial Treasures of Japan. On the left, Emperor Emeritus Akihito and his wife Empress Emerita Michiko.

Golden Week is a time where FOUR whole national holidays line up together in such a way that most people get the whole week off, making it one of the longest breaks and thus busiest travel seasons of the year. These holidays are Showa Day (April 29), Emperor Hirohito’s birthday; Constitution Day (May 3), when Japan got its new constitution under Allied occupation; Greenery Day (May 4), a Japanese Earth day; and Children’s Day (May 5).

令和
A screenshot from the era name announcement ceremony.

I was in Tokyo for three days, the first of which included a stop by the Imperial Palace where the Emperor lives. This was on May 1st, which, because of Akihito’s abdication the day before, marked the beginning of a new era: from 平成 Heisei (1989 – 2019), “achieving peace,” to 令和 Reiwa, which means “beautiful harmony.” The name is chosen by a panel of experts that includes academics and company presidents, and this particular one was chosen from a line from a classical Japanese poem. Japan uses a special calendar based on Emperors’ reigns, so a new era begins when a new one takes the throne, and ends upon their leaving it (usually from passing away). This has been a tradition for 1400 years. Just to give a sense of how much history these eras can cover, the last emperor before Akihito was Hirohito, who was Emperor during World War II. Go only two more eras back, and you’re already at the time of the Meiji Restoration, when Japan ended its policy of isolation and opened itself up to the world in 1853. Damn!

IMG_E4512
Even LEGO Woody wants to welcome you to the new era!

Besides the hubbub, although I was able to get closer to the palace than I was last time, as a mere peasant I was sadly unable to catch a glimpse of the Emperor or anything like that. Anyways, onward to my next two days, at…

Tokyo Disneyland

IMG_E4643.JPG

I’m a huge fan of Disneyland. I’d go once a month, and even twice a month during my considerably freer college days. It is only natural that I should visit Tokyo Disneyland, and though this wasn’t my first time, it is my first time writing about it!

IMG_8926
Tokyo Disneyland features Cinderella Castle instead of Sleeping Beauty. Credit goes to Rika M. for this one.

Tokyo Disneyland was built in 1983, apparently the first to be built outside the US. If you asked me to sum up the biggest difference, well, I’d say that it’s Disneyland, except in Japanese. The rides/attractions and layout of the park are near exactly the same to its counterpart in Anaheim. Some, like Pirates of the Caribbean, are even still in English! Now that’s some culture shock. All the animatronics, set-pieces, scenery, and so on are the same, except perhaps just a tiny bit differently laid out in terms of order. Some, of course (such as Star Tours), are in the Japanese language, but the rides in and of themselves are exactly the same. There are a few exclusive attractions, like Stitch Encounter and Monsters Inc. Ride & Go Seek, but you will also recognize many others such as Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Western River Railroad (Big Thunder Mountain Railroad), and the various Fantasyland rides we all know and love. The lands are also roughly the same, featuring World Bazaar (similar in appearance to Main Street, USA, complete with Penny Arcade), Adventureland, Westernland (i.e. Frontierland), Critter Country, Toontown, and Tomorrowland.

Nevertheless, there is still a distinctly Japanese twinge to the park, in the food and souvenirs they offer– much more focus on snacks, aesthetic packaging to make said snacks candidates for nice omiyage, handkerchiefs, a lot of Duffy products, soup bowls, soy sauce dishes, chopsticks, and so on and so on. Either way, I must admit that at the end of the day I felt more like I was in Disneyland in Japan, rather than being in a Japanese Disneyland. Now, if you want a totally unique experience, head on over to its aquatic neighbor.

IMG-4984
Some of the food offerings at the Tokyo Disney Parks, including seafood calzones and garlic shrimp popcorn.

Tokyo Disney Sea

Hop on the Disneyland Monorail to take you to Disney Sea.

Much as how California Adventure is the slightly more thrilling counterpart of Disneyland, so too is Tokyo Disney Sea. Indiana Jones is housed here instead of in Tokyo Disneyland, but aside from that, it doesn’t share a single ride in common with Anaheim Disneyland.

Being Disney “Sea,” the park is very decidedly water-themed, where each land represents a different region of the world: American Waterfront, recalling early 1900s San Francisco; Port Discovery, its steampunk aesthetic based on Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea; Lost River Delta, exactly where you’d expect Indiana Jones to be, 1930s Central America; Arabian Coast; Mediterranean Harbor, complete with gondolas; Mysterious Island, another Jules Verne-themed land; and finally, Mermaid Cove where Ariel lives.

IMG_4998
Clockwise from top left: globe fountain at the entrance, Tower of Terror and the SS Columbia of American Waterfront, Mount Prometheus of Mysterious Island, the Temple of the Crystal Skull of the Lost River Delta, and the gondoliers of Mediterranean Harbor.

At the center of the park is the volcanic Mount Prometheus, and the Journey to the Center of the Earth ride takes you into the depths of it. Think Matterhorn Bobsleds except subterranean and with magma instead of snow, and with weird Half Life-ish boss creatures rather than the Abominable Snowman. The ride itself is kind of like Radiator Springs Racers in California Adventure, in that the first part is a slow ride taking you through different scenery and dioramas, and the final part is when you “break out”– it speeds up, there’s drops and bumps, and before you know it you’re back to civilization. I didn’t take a video because it was my first time riding it, but here’s a POV ride-through on YouTube.

IMG_E4783

It’s worth mentioning that these pair of parks are the only ones not actually owned by Disney– instead, they’re owned by the Oriental Land Company, which licenses the Disney brand from them. This means that you get to see creative choices that would otherwise probably not fly at Disney parks, namely focusing on things as obscure as Jules Vernes’s works, two of which aren’t even Disney movies: The Mysterious Island and Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Since I went during Golden Week, both parks are incredibly crowded. We had to wait three hours for each ride, so we were only able to do three rides a day or so. I would not recommend going during this time, absolutely not. But any other time at all, absolutely yes! If you love Disney, or at the very least, enjoy fun and aren’t a contrarian, you’ll enjoy these parks. And finally, since there was nowhere else to put it, there is this amazing, utterly bizarre animatronic alien that “makes” pizzas over at Tokyo Disneyland, at Pan Galactic Pizza Port:

IMG-4681

 

Japanese High School Graduation (and Uniforms)

The end of February? Sailor uniforms? Bowing 800 times? Yes, this is a Japanese high school graduation ceremony.

The Japanese school year starts in April, for some reason. Kids still get a block of summer vacation too, so they come to school for two months and then they’re gone for a month. Weird!

IMG-0401
This picture was not from the rehearsal, but as you can see it’s not my first time being taught bowing.

Anyways, because of that, high schoolers graduate at the end of February instead. Ours was on February 28, preceded by rehearsals the day before, because as my teacher put it, “practicing is very Japanese.” In said rehearsals, students were made to scream, jump up and down while singing the school’s alma mater, and practice standing up and sitting down at the right speed over and over. We teachers got to watch, but we also had to practice how to bow properly (hot tip: it’s a 40° tilt and 3-count).

IMG-3906
Flags left to right are: Hyogo Prefecture, Japan, school emblem.

Actual graduation was a very serious, somber affair. It was punctuated with speeches from many different adults, from the principal to the board of education chair to the head of the PTA association. These were all, at least from the sound of them, very dry, and often read straight off a paper. There definitely weren’t any jokes, or even snappy pop culture references. It’s probably better that way.

IMG-3958
Clockwise from left: boy’s uniform winter version, girl’s uniform winter version, summer version. The boy’s summer uniform is just a white shirt and dark khakis.

The students just wear their regular school uniform for graduation, without any pomp or circumstance. My school’s uniform is pretty much the most archetypal Japanese uniform you can get, the classic gakuran for boys and serafuku (sailor uniforms) for girls, whose names you may not know but will recognize immediately upon seeing them. Accessories include a Roman numeral pin attached to your collar (for men) or neckerchief (for women) to indicate your year. Buttons are engraved with the school crest. To me, they’re pretty stylish. To the kids, they’re not fans and they want the same uniforms as other high schools in the area, with blazers and sweaters and ties. Between early 20th-century sailor uniforms or the mid-20th century Ivy look, it really is a win-win.

IMG-3909.JPG

Back to graduation, a play-by-play: everyone files in, sans third-years (high school is only three years). We stand and sing the Japanese national anthem, “Kimi Ga Yo.” The principal gives a speech. Each time someone new comes on stage, everyone is to stand, bow for 3 counts, and sit down. The third years enter and take their seats in the front rows, to the tune of Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons.” A little unfitting, if you ask me, but hey, I’m just a foreigner observing. The rest was a blur of speeches and bowing. The students don’t physically receive any diplomas. At least, not during the ceremony. Instead, their names are called one by one, they yell “hai” and stand up. The underclassmen representative gives a thank-you speech from the rest of the school. More speeches from more people, as mentioned before, and well, that’s it. We also sing the school’s alma matter and few other select songs. No graduating student goes up on stage. No laughter, no applause. Not until the very end as they exit (to “Sotsugyo Shashin”; Graduation Picture), and yes, there are at least tears. Now the audience and teachers will be clapping, for maybe four or five minutes straight. And… the end! These brave men and women are now out and about in the world, some to college, some to technical schools, others home to study for more entrance exams, and oh, the places they’ll go!

Staying in a Capsule Hotel

Nightlife in Japan is ruled by an incredibly powerful force, one that many seldom dare reckon with– the last train. If you miss your last train home, usually around midnight, the choices are slim: you can either take a taxi at exorbitant prices, or stay out, hopefully intoxicated, till the first train about 5 hours later. You could also get a hotel, but that’s a little too expensive for most people. $100 just for a bed to sleep in for 8 hours? No way!

Or, you could stay in a capsule hotel for about 1/3 of the price.

IMG-3812

Instead of rooms, capsule hotels are made up of individual Space-age-looking pods, essentially human-sized drawers containing nothing but a bed, and perhaps a small TV on the roof your capsule. A typical one measures maybe 6.5 feet (2m) long by 3 feet (1m) tall. There’s just barely enough room to sit up properly. Thanks to this, the use of space is incredibly efficient– what you see above is enough accommodation for 12 people!

There are communal bathrooms, as well as showers. Some extra-fancy capsule hotels will even have their own onsen (public baths). It’s really the perfect solution for a cheap and quick overnight stay– the one we were at, the Asahi Plaza Shinsaibashi located in Amerikamura, Osaka, was only 3000 yen ($30) a night. The Asahi Plaza, by the way, was one of such hotels with an onsen. Nice!

IMG-3824

Common in Japan but uncommon in hotel lobbies, we had to take our shoes off at the front. In such situations, lockers are provided so the front doesn’t get so cluttered, and I suppose so people won’t steal your shoes. However, we had to surrender said locker keys to the front desk, and we’d have to ask for it back any time we needed our shoes. The only key we were given at check-in was for a locker to store our stuff in. These lockers were in a room separate from the capsules, on the first floor. Up to the second floor we went to find our capsules. Exciting!

IMG-3811.JPG

The second floor was essentially a series of hallways shooting off into capsule rooms. Each room contained about 16-20 capsules. Efficient!

IMG-3830
Interior view facing in, back of TV on the top left.

Lo and behold, my “room” for the night– surrounded by plastic, on top of a rather thin mattress pad. A small nozzle in the back blows heated air, which you can manually point or close but otherwise not control the temperature. Other amenities included a TV, control panel, shelf, some cubbies, a power outlet (had for an extra 400 yen/$4), and a mirror. I crawled inside, and was happy to find that there was enough room to turn around, albeit kind of scrunched on all fours. Spacious!

IMG-3828
Interior view facing out.

Rather than any type of door, you get a thin pull-down blind, kind of like a straw mat. That is all you get for security/privacy/noise-cancellation– there are no locks anywhere on or in the capsule. In fact, according to their website, “hotel industry law” dictates that locks are straight-up not allowed in capsules. I suppose that might put claustrophobics a little more at ease. Sensible!

IMG-3827.JPG

The control panel is of the same sort you might find at any hotel, but I included a picture for posterity’s sake. Functions include alarm clock set, TV on/off, radio on/off, lights, and, unlike most hotels, an “emergency button” on the bottom left, protected by a swing-out plastic cover to prevent accidental pressings. Sorry to say, I have no idea what it does. I imagine it either summons an employee to your capsule or launches it towards Rigel 7. Handy!

In conclusion, for its combination of novelty, price, and convenience, I’d absolutely do it again. And, before I forget to mention, it was about as comfortable as it looks– you’re not sleeping on a cloud, but it is perfectly adequate and I slept like the dead anyways. One might even say… like a body in a morgue :^)

 

Travels Thus Far: Kinosaki Hot Springs

Would you travel four hours in order to get naked around a bunch of strangers? If you ask me, the answer would be “absolutely!” In a country that holds 10% of the entire world’s volcanoes, this also means that selfsame volcanoes are heating up and mineralizing wonderful spring water for your bathing pleasure. There are thousands of onsen, or hot springs/public baths, throughout Japan, both indoor and outdoor, and this weekend I made a trip up to Kinosaki Onsen, on the north coast of the Hyogo Prefecture, to enjoy a few.

img-3327

After a grueling, though still physically comfortable 4-hour train ride, we were first greeted by a quaint (read: frustratingly primitive) train station where you have to pay in cash for transportation instead of the usual tappable, reloadable IC card. That’s okay, though, there’s a very nice anime lady welcoming us to Kinosaki!

9218544909682
In front of Kinosaki Station.

Kinosaki is an onsen resort town, home to dozens of onsens along their main street, all within walking distance and set amongst scenic stone bridges overlooking a river teeming with koi, and traditional Japanese restaurants where best-of-your-life meals await. Since this is an onsen town, it is de rigeur to walk around in kimono and wooden block sandals (geta), and your hotel will even provide these for you, free of charge!

img-0751a
Edited slightly for increased aesthetics.

At each onsen, you walk in, take off your shoes at the entrance, and head on over to the locker room. They, and the baths themselves, are separated by sex, and there are a few simple rules to follow: one, you must be naked. Two, you must shower before actually entering the water. Thirdly, you can only take with you a small towel, which you can use to cover yourself if you so wish, but more than that it’s for drying off. And don’t dip it into the water either.

If you felt a little nervous about being naked around other men, well, it’s pretty easy to cast that aside straightaway, because the moment you walk into the tatami-matted locker room, you’ll immediately see guys casually walking around completely in the nude, as well as guys dressing down to get to that state. Walk through another door, and there are rows of sit-down showers, with stools and shampoo/soap provided. Wash well, put your lone towel on your head (the cool way) or over your modesty, and head on over to the many facilities offered, from steam saunas to mineral pools and private one-man tubs.

inside_goshono-yu_kinosaki_onsen
Inside Goshono-yu. Not my picture as you can’t take picture-taking devices with you. Credit goes to Shogo Nishiyama

Take some time to ponder the age-old question, “could I possibly be any more relaxed?” as you soak in the hot, silky, and mineral-rich waters of Japan, blessed by the heat and material bounties of Earth itself. It is said that the dozens of onsen around Kinosaki all have different specialties– one has waters good for fertility, another has waters good for successful marriage, another for general fortune, and so on. We did not check which ones were which, so I couldn’t tell you whether you’re reading the words of a luckier man today, or a more fertile man. At this stage in my life, I’d rather the former.

After some time, you’ve realized you shouldn’t get too comfortable and basically die here, it’s time to head to the next one. Put on your hotel yukata (male kimono) and wooden sandals, and clop on over to the next one. Yukata are fashionable as hell, as well as being practical for onsens, since it’s a robe that takes seconds to put on, and it helps dry you as you walk since you don’t wear anything but underwear underneath. Just make sure to tie your obi (belt-sash) behind or to the right, as wearing it in front was originally associated with prostitutes, and wrap the yukata left-side over right. The other way around is for funerals.

img-3336

In case you were wondering, geta wooden sandals are slightly more comfortable than they look, and are in fact superior to pathetic Western shoes– just kidding, they’re blocks of freaking wood, so they are not really comfortable either. They were a little awkward to walk in, and I had a feeling that you’re supposed to walk differently than with normal shoes. I also nearly fell over any time I had to bend down to pick something up. I’m sure I just have to learn the technique and/or practice, and in no time I’ll be running full-speed and striking down peasants with my katana.

img-3357
The exterior of Goshono-yu.

All in all, we visited three onsens, one we nicknamed “Splash Zone” for the drunk guy trying to pick a fight by deliberately splashing us (another behavior considered very rude), in actuality Goshono-Yu, Mandara-yu, and Ichino-yu. Since I couldn’t take pictures of the interior baths owing to the no-cameras rule, take a look at the tourist website!

IMG-3362.JPG

That concludes the onsen portion of my post, and let me make a brief, very honorable mention to the other Kinosaki specialty, snow crab.

img-3356

Yes, it was delicious. Quite possibly the best crab I’ve ever had in my life. It was fresh, of excellent flakiness, succulent, and tasted like it had been *just*! perfectly salted.

img-0749
Featuring the ” we” component. Clockwise from top right, myself, Siseko, Danien, and Cameron.

Wash it all down with sake, and that’s sayonara to a supremely blissful experience at Kinosaki.

What NOT to Do in Japan, According to Their Signs

There’s more to the signage in Japan than just poorly translated English. There’s also Japanese signs in perfectly-translated JAPANESE, warning you about the strangest things or otherwise just being really cute. All captions are translations/rough translations, not my commentary:

IMG-1209
“Please don’t feed the deer, it makes them get sick.”
IMG-2020
Beware of your valuables when visiting relatives’ graves. There’s thieves about!

 

IMG_20140828_062155
Train emergency stop button.
IMG-2558
Train manners: don’t block the doorway like this chameleon.
IMG_20140828_063020
Watch out for your baggage bumping into people.
img-3043
No right turns, but going straight and left turns are okay.